I promise I’ll spare you the self-digestion story mentioned in my first post, The woman He desires for me to be, but I still highly recommend that you read it.
This is a post related to butterflies and the overall theme of the blog — transforming into the woman God created and desires for me to be. And part of that transformation is the growth of my wings.
Throughout my life, I have often found myself in these “self-digestion” cocoon stages. I know at the end of the process, my ultimate desire is to become this beautiful, new creation– just like a butterfly. Yet, as much as it may hurt to stay there, my cocoon seems like a better option.
Being a butterfly will be different. It will be new, scary, and unpredictable. And with my wings, what if they fail? What if I try to fly and excel, but find myself plummeting to the ground in a downward spiral? Given the choice between uncertainty and safety, I’m going to choose to stay in the cocoon for $200, Alex (pardon my Jeopardy reference).
But in all seriousness, how many times have I limited myself due to fear of the unknown? And instead of taking that risk for growth and experiencing a life of prosperity, I’d rather remain in a shelter that is perhaps more destructive than anything I could face outside of it. I have the perception that it’s “safe,” but it’s doing me more harm than good. I’m allowing this fear to literally tear me apart and “self-digest” myself.
My worst fear is that eventually I will develop my wings, but I will allow my life to pass by because I’m too scared to emerge from the cocoon and try to fly.
I want to excel, to soar. God didn’t create me, or you, to live an average, semi-satisfactory life. He created us with great potential to do His works, and He doesn’t want us to settle for an “okay” life. Or a “safe” life. Or a “comfortable” life.
So how do I reach that point where I’m okay with my wings growing, so that I can fly freely and confidently?
By conquering those fears and doing good things that will bring growth to me, even if it’s one small step at a time.
Or, knowing myself, putting myself in safe and healthy situations that have forced me to fly — such as moving across the country on my own.
I’m going to do the things I’ve often not prioritized for myself throughout the years:
- my health
- my fitness
- self-care in my appearance (I don’t care what people say, tanning is amazing)
- my spiritual health and growth
- activities and hobbies I’ve been scared to try, or have made excuses for to stop pursuing
- growing as a writer and blogger
- finding ways to serve and encourage others locally and internationally
- becoming more passionate about my future career field
- enjoying the life and blessings God has gifted me
I don’t want to live in fear, and I don’t want to live with excuses. I want to grow in confidence. Perhaps some of you have reached this point, and I admire your strength and perseverance.
Maybe others of you are in the same situation as me, debating whether it’s a good idea to leave the cocoon. It won’t be easy, and it will be scary at points, but won’t it be worth it? I’m ready to grow my wings, and be able to excel and fly. And I really hope you are, too.